Accomplishment

The weather this time of year has been phenomenal; I've been climbing outside twice a week!  I had a great week and I just wanted to make a quick update to recognize it and remember it later on.

On Friday last week, I led successfully my first ever 10.d, a route called "Flying Time" in Kootenai.  The reason I was so proud of getting up this climb, besides it being my first 10.d lead, was because I'd never even seen the climb before. I'd heard about it as being "up by the second buttress."  I'd had it in my head for a couple of weeks that I wanted to lead it and it just was never the right time.  Last Friday, one of my good climbing partners and mentors, Claudine, made sure that I did it.  I fell a few times making my way up,  but the falls were all clean.  For the first time, I figured out how to work a hard route.  Trying out moves and failing until I stuck them was a new process for me.

Flying Time

Desperate heel hook

It was short, maybe only 5 bolts or so, but it was pumpy, overhanging, and an absolute blast.  It was great to have Claudine there cheering me on -- she was there when I led my very first route (a 5.8!).
That day we also got on the Razorback Arete (a stout 10.c) which Claudine led, and 11th Commandment (a very stout 10.a, which I led).  Daniel, a guy I met climbing 2 weeks ago, joined us as well.

Daniel on Razorback Arete

11th Commandment

 But in other news....

Yesterday I led my first 5.11!!! A goal on my 25 year bucketlist is to 'onsight' and 11.  Well, I didn't onsight it because I've toproped the climb before, but still, it was a huge accomplishment. I led the Tempest (5.11a/b) in Kootenai.  It is a beast -- so long you need a 70 m rope to do it.  It is 14 bolts! It is a beautiful climb.  I got it in my head after Flying Time last week  that I wanted to get on the Tempest and lead it.  However, even when I toproped it previously I had been very challenged.  The start is super cruxy, and  clipping the second bolt involves a huge committing move above the safety of the first -- fall in between the two and you'll likely deck out (hit the ground) due to slack in the rope and rope stretch.  I knew that I just had to stick the first few moves, which I had done 2 weeks ago on top rope, and after I clipped the second bolt I could take a breather and work the rest of the route.

And great success! I took a number of falls and struggled quite a bit, but Daniel, my belayer, was patient. One move in the climb required the most effort I think I've ever exerted at any one point -- I drew the ability to do it from deep inside me.  It was an incredibly spiritual feeling, being able to access that effort and ability out of pure determination.   With one bolt to go, I thought to myself, holy shit, I actually am going to do this.   A few moves later and I had topped out, looking east towards the glowing Bitterroot Valley.

I had to drink beer after that climb. It had taken so much effort, concentration, thought, and mental preparation that I just needed a drink.  And what  a good beer that was.

Peace of mind

I've come to learn one reason I really love climbing is because it is the one thing I can do and completely forget everything else going on.  When I'm climbing, there is one thing on my mind: the rock. It is an incredible sense of direction, clarity, and escape.  I've never found this state of mind in anything else I do.  It is crazy to think about how much multitasking goes on in our daily lives.  Especially as a graduate student, where life always feels unpredictable, stressful, daunting, and burdened, I am always multitasking.  While I've been working on this blog, in fact, I'm also listening to music, writing and running computer code, and populating a word document table. Gross.  Climbing is an escape from all of this.

It is also an escape from negativity.  There is no bad day out on the rock.  I've never had a bad day climbing. I've had days where I'm disappointed in my abilities, but regardless, I commend myself for showing up and trying.  I've never had a bad day.

I needed it today.  The peace of mind, the escape.  It is scary and real being up on rock, climbing above your last bolt with moves you aren't sure will stick.  There just isn't anything else like it.  Not even skiing (my other true love).  I like yoga and running, but I think too much about other things when I do it.  When I climb, it's just me, climbing. Nothing else.

Today I got out to Mill Creek, outside of Hamilton, MT. One of my absolute favorite places to climb right now.  Since my climbing abilities and knowledge are still fairly limited, places like Mill are fantastic.  I'd love to get into more multipitch trad climbing, but I'm not there yet.  So for now, I'm perfectly satisfied with sport climbing.  The walls in Mill are granite and the routes are fantastic.  Today was an incredibly perfect fall day.  All the plants and trees were changing color, in stark contrast to the rocks and burned forest floor which surrounds the crag.

I forgot my camera, so I had to use my crappy cameraphone.  Trying to capture the amazing colors here...

Also, today I climbed with an entirely new group of people.  I climbed with a girl I had met briefly in the spring, two of her friends, and another guy we picked up on the way, a friend of a friend.  We all climbed really well together; everyone was at different levels, but we were all excited and stoked to be out.  We even went out to mediocore Mexican food afterwords.  I love that climbing can bring such a random group of people together.  We're hoping to get out next Sunday again.

What is awesome about climbing out here, is that you often run into the people who puts the routes up in the first place.  Today I was climbing a route and the guy who put the bolts up was at the base, giving me beta.  The climbing community, and the Missoula climbing community in particular, is just awesome like that.

I opened up this blog today because I have been experiencing some confusion and frustration in life in general. Then I thought about the clarity of climbing and I had to write it down.  With climbing, there is no middle ground. You can do it or you can't.   You get up or you bail. You clip or you fall.  You're determined to get to the top, or you're heart isn't in it.  It's that easy.

 It's challenging when others make feel like I'm not good enough, whether or not it is their intention. But then I think to myself about I  feel very confident with who I am and what I'm doing.  I know that my degree program isn't going to lead directly to my career, but I'm sticking with it and I'm trying as hard as I can.  I work hard and I play hard.  I'm not afraid to spend an entire day with strangers.  I can close the bars and get up at 7 to go skiing the next day (thanks Husky Winter Sports for training me so well).

Beauty in the Bitterroot

Frustrated rambling aside, I had a great day.  I'm just going to keep having the best days I can.  Confusion is annoying, but hell, at least I've got my rock.  And my dog.